Well my plans of going out for dinner didn't work out lol .. My sis had stomachache, one girl couldn't find a babysitter and another was feeling sick... So we made the call to cancel :(
After putting my kids to bed, and have their monitor on ( I usually have my ipod beside the monitor playing quran so I'm always sure that there is transmission not only silence)...
I go down, and decide to go quickly and order my son's bd cake and come back...so I go and when I'm back I was talking with my sis for about five minute, then I realize there is no quran playing, so I check the intercom...and to my absolute horror my kid was screaming his brains out!! So I drop everything run like the wind to him, I come inside find him on the floor with the side of crib on his face! Oh oh oh my god! I grab him and hold him so tight in my arms! I check him out he was fine but crying and crying...by now the rest comes in (my mom, dad, brothers and my sis)
So my mom takes him to inspect him, while in her arms he turns around and look at me and smile...and I just explode into tears! Cry and cry over... What if I wasn't around? What if anything happened to him?!
Apparently he woke up cried and cried started kicking and probably kicked off the crib's side...so he fell and madree how the thing fell over him?!
My dad was hugging me saying he's fine, and he was joking that shoofy he's not even one and he's breaking things...
Wallah I freaked out big time...! Allah y9le7hoom..
So I hug him until he's back to sleep, and my brother gets the tools and tighten the whole bed..after that I go to take a shower, under the water I start to cry again...
I didn't sleep well , the image of my child under that crib rail keeps flashing in front of me...what if something happened? What if I was out for the dinner?
I woke up, my daughter doesn't want to go to school she was crying I want to stay with akhooy... Then she asks for her dad, she wanted to call him, so I send him a text that she wants to talk to u... He calls, and she lights up! Her mood changes, she's all smiles and is singing now in her car seat...
I feel guilty...I'm depriving my kids from a loving father cause I can't live with him, cause I was miserable with me, and cause with him I won't be me anymore!
I remember a friend had in their profile a pic the other day, it said “Me becoming We”? Well if that's what's relationships is about then what I'm doing is a mistake?!
Should I go back? For the sake of my kids? But when I was him my daughter was a second class citizen bcs he didn't give her special attention cause he felt guilty towards his motherless children... So the drama never ends...
Should we make choices for the sake of ourselves or our beloved children we brought to this world to share with us our lives?
I want to be a good mother, I want to give my kids all the love and happiness I can provide them...but is what I'm offering enough?
After putting my kids to bed, and have their monitor on ( I usually have my ipod beside the monitor playing quran so I'm always sure that there is transmission not only silence)...
I go down, and decide to go quickly and order my son's bd cake and come back...so I go and when I'm back I was talking with my sis for about five minute, then I realize there is no quran playing, so I check the intercom...and to my absolute horror my kid was screaming his brains out!! So I drop everything run like the wind to him, I come inside find him on the floor with the side of crib on his face! Oh oh oh my god! I grab him and hold him so tight in my arms! I check him out he was fine but crying and crying...by now the rest comes in (my mom, dad, brothers and my sis)
So my mom takes him to inspect him, while in her arms he turns around and look at me and smile...and I just explode into tears! Cry and cry over... What if I wasn't around? What if anything happened to him?!
Apparently he woke up cried and cried started kicking and probably kicked off the crib's side...so he fell and madree how the thing fell over him?!
My dad was hugging me saying he's fine, and he was joking that shoofy he's not even one and he's breaking things...
Wallah I freaked out big time...! Allah y9le7hoom..
So I hug him until he's back to sleep, and my brother gets the tools and tighten the whole bed..after that I go to take a shower, under the water I start to cry again...
I didn't sleep well , the image of my child under that crib rail keeps flashing in front of me...what if something happened? What if I was out for the dinner?
I woke up, my daughter doesn't want to go to school she was crying I want to stay with akhooy... Then she asks for her dad, she wanted to call him, so I send him a text that she wants to talk to u... He calls, and she lights up! Her mood changes, she's all smiles and is singing now in her car seat...
I feel guilty...I'm depriving my kids from a loving father cause I can't live with him, cause I was miserable with me, and cause with him I won't be me anymore!
I remember a friend had in their profile a pic the other day, it said “Me becoming We”? Well if that's what's relationships is about then what I'm doing is a mistake?!
Should I go back? For the sake of my kids? But when I was him my daughter was a second class citizen bcs he didn't give her special attention cause he felt guilty towards his motherless children... So the drama never ends...
Should we make choices for the sake of ourselves or our beloved children we brought to this world to share with us our lives?
I want to be a good mother, I want to give my kids all the love and happiness I can provide them...but is what I'm offering enough?
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